Our Duel Roulette verdicts! Good job, everyone
A solid entry, if unfinished! My immediate impression from what we have is that you are unfamiliar with backgrounds and certain set up shots. This is mostly evident on the first page where the horizon of the first panel disappears on the left side and you go for quick and fast panelling of the interior of the bar. Here I would have suggested an establishing panel so that the setting and atmosphere can really be absorbed by your reader before you go back to the characters.
At times you’ll have brilliantly neat close ups of faces but the background will still look quite scruffy, setting is almost as important as your characters so don’t let it go to waste!
Finally, work on your script writing. Script is the single biggest way to bulk up your work beyond what you’re able and we’re all guilty of it. Review your script and look for instances where panels can be combined to save space and make more interesting compositions!
Overall this was a good bout, but I think you can do better and I’m looking forward to seeing more from you. Have at it!dbzfreak897
Seriously, the biggest issue with your comic is your font choice. I know typography/lettering can seem like such a minor thing, because when it’s done well you don’t notice it at all (SFX included) but when it’s done wrong it just doesn’t work. Hit up blambots.com for some slick and eye friendly comic fonts.
That said, your work is extremely neat and precise. Although, like your opponent, you tend to stay away from backgrounds and settings. This doesn’t help when setting up the context of your actions and getting across the story, so keep an eye on that. You have some real interesting page set ups at times (looking at you pg 7) and I think you should push that with bolder and more daring compositions in the panels.
Those less daring compositions are what ultimately let you down in this duel. Your choreography is actually really good and interesting but is held back by flat angles. Seriously man, push them angles and compositions a bit more and you’d be a force to be reckoned with.
Despite the awful typeface, the rest of the comic more than makes up for it so you’re getting the win! I really enjoyed the more heartwarming ending.
, this is hands down one of my favourite entries. The opening city shots are bursting with character (and characters) and it’s obvious that you’ve put a lot of time and effort into this. Your use of solid blacks is very good, but it can get a bit busy at times (I’m looking at you panel of tortoise and klaus foot). Work on your composition within panels so you can do half the explaining with layout alone!
Composition is another point I’d like to hit you on, your fight scene is good but it lacks a lot of punch more extreme composition can give it. Don’t forget this is a comic, panels and angles and layouts are all at your disposal to make a truly memorable fight scene.
Beyond the great art and solid fight scenes, I felt that the narrative was a bit dry. The first person narrative does work but it’s come across a lot as an info dump rather than character development. The character telling you about it is not as interesting as you showing us the story. Kurou doesn’t really have much of a reaction to the nightmare either, so don’t be afraid to push those elements.
Overall this is still an exceptionally good comic and one of the best in the roulette! Keep at it man, you deserve this win.Masamune50
, you have some very interesting panel compositions here! Your settings and characters are super loose and occasionally this does work for you, unfortunately some of that looseness actually makes your close ups appear to lack structure. Loose lines should still have a solid foundation to work with.
Loose style doesn’t mean you can forgo clean lines either, a single strong line is far better. This really becomes apparent in the latter half of your duel when you move onto the fight. Be careful with weights as that big backpack tends to lose presence here and there and that’s usually a combination of several issues (mainly lack of good posing and composition).
Still it was great to see this, you’ve come a long way here at SDL and I know you can go further! Have at it!
It is a shame that you did not get this finished on time because it held a lot of potential. Your piece displayed a wonderful sense of motion and perspective, especially evident in your completed page. The panel layout was well chosen for pacing the comic properly, to accentuate that all these images are in fact happening in a very short space of time and the soft blue colour complemented the sketchy style you pulled off here, giving an impression of a mostly cloudless night with a full moon rather than the harshness black would have done. However, the hook in this page (character comes across a couple of ninjas about to kill/maim someone) was a little lackluster. This sort of hook is not necessarily bad just perhaps a little cliched and overplayed of late. That said I am impressed because the technical skill involved was of substantial quality and lead to a rather interesting story of betrayal. The judges were torn on the verdict of this one but we voted to weigh your superior and completed storyline over the artistic merits of Crimson-Kumiho13
We really liked this page, the composition was perfect and the attention to detail was spot on in most cases, however N’s face in panel four looked a little bit off. Despite a strong first few panels, the last two lagged seriously in comparison, breaking the flow of the narrative. Similarly to Fox7XD
, the use of greys rather than black in your lines and shadows helps accentuate the sketchbook manga feel of the comic and blends surprisingly well with the rendered snowfall. That said however, the lines themselves were messy in some places, particularly in panels 3 and 4. While the judges felt you had a stronger first page than :devfox7d: in terms of art, she told a better story even with the unfinished latter pages.
Jan 19 - Feb 23
Comic duel in SDL canon
For the sake of good sportsmanship, we’ll be counting Jichan’s page. Lakambini’s character comes across spectacularly well in the few panels she’s in and you can just feel the spazziness radiate off the page as she fumes at her own silliness, which contrasts excellently with Kozue’s doomful expression at the bottom of the page. However, technically, the linework could’ve done with touching up in a lot of places as well as white spots in a lot of the colour. I do not know if it was a stylistic choice but I do not felt it worked, despite the soft colours involved and the predominance of white in the comic. I am, however, impressed by the effective use of blurring in the backdrops to convey faraway tree covered mountains in the backgrounds of the ‘panels’, as well as the transition from the forest Lakambini was trapped in to wherever the hell Kozue was walking through. Unfortunate, it was the weaker of the two comics.Aave
I was worried when I saw an awful lot of white when I first went to the gallery but was soon assuaged, seeing that you chose to forego colours but did not slack off on detailing the backdrops. This went a long way towards preventing the pages from feeling empty while allowing the comic to focus on the action and the characters themselves while freeing you up from worrying about backdrops. The linework and detail was excellent, especially on the facial features of the characters, the multitude of movement and camera angles really helped the pages feel alive, although this was let down in the final panel as it looked more like Lakambini was doing the crane pose than jumping into action but it was a small nitpick considering the rest of the movement was excellent. The composition and paneling was solid, however with regards to the dialogue I have a nitpick. In page three, when Lakambini is giving off to Kozue, I strongly advise against strikethrough text in comics, I get the joke was she was saying it under her breath, but that is better achieved with a smaller text bubble breaking up the bigger one to emphasis she was saying that line a tad different, ordinarily I’d change the entire panel to fit that kind of joke, but thats just me. Overall it was the stronger entry so I award the win to you.
You did a really good job with this entry, despite it being a little last minute. Your concept was simple but provided a good setup for Mzwake's personal story without taking away from your opponent's involvement in the story. You made good use of a variety of perspectives and angles but the clarity of your piece was lost a little due to tangenting and panel bleed overs. I think being more aware of tangents and/or creating clearer separations between your panels (through thicker lines or use of gutters) would help with this clarity issue. Additionally, I'd recommend typing your text bubbles if you're going to work digitally because some words were difficult to read. Overall, your duel had a strong structure to it, and you seem to really understand how to use page breaks to the advantage of your story. I look forward to seeing what you produce in your future duels and congratulate you for a job well done.RoK-the-Reaper
Unfortunately your duel was unfinished, so there's not as much to say as with crazyshiro
's entry. I understand that the page you submitted was a rough draft but it does look like a good start at least in terms of storyline. In the future I'd recommend using a heavier line width on your panels if you're not going to use gutters to separate them. Making a barrier between panels can make your work seem cleaner and easier to read. In this same vein, you should watch where your tones bleed over the line if you're going to do colored work. We're looking forward to seeing some more completed work from you in the future. Good luck with your future duels.
Your entry served as a strong introduction for Ran into SDL and you managed to get across a good amount of character and backstory while still keeping the piece humorous. The cute little twist ending and page four were definite highlights of the duel. Perhaps a bit on the nitpicky side, the use of a single (or very similar) line weight throughout the piece did make some details a little hard to distinguish. Though the use of spot blacks does help to mitigate that issue, it is at times hard to differentiate crosshatching used for texture from crosshatching used for shading. The bottom panel of page six is a good example of this. Overall, though, a really good showing on this duel as usual. I'm really looking forward to what you do with Ran and Yuki's story in the future.
Despite running out of time, your entry managed to provide a good background for Night's story in the new SDL season. Some of the issues with your duel, like the empty space on the second and third pages, can be chalked up to working at the last minute so I won't fault you too much for that. I do think you need to work on keeping your dialogue natural, though. Often times things seem too scripted or "wacky" to actually be believable. Sometimes it helps to say dialogue out loud to make sure it sounds like things people would actually say. Other than that, I think you did a pretty good job ending your duel on a strong note. The pacing and set up of the rope drop works really well and I look forward to seeing what you do with Night's story after this.
, it’s unfortunate that you didn’t finish your duel, as your lineart quality in the page you posted is some of of the best we’ve seen from you. Gu’s hair in particular looks especially natural, though I would keep an eye on some of your line widths/intersections and their general roughness in certain areas, such as the bridge.underwoodwriter
, your comic entries always seem to be a mix of off-the-wall characterization and gorgeous art. For those of us who know Sugawara’s story, it’s been great watching him progress into old age throughout your duels. However, it’s good to keep in mind that many people reading these comics may not have the necessary backstory. Make sure that your story can be moderately self-contained and not rely entirely on unspoken knowledge (who Sugawara’s children are, etc). The contrast between your more dignified art style and your type of humor is always entertaining and we hope to see more from you in the future!
It is really good to see yourself pushing your work in more dynamic ways. You don’t have much up for me to pick through but what you do have demonstrably shows you’re pushing yourself further in terms of panel composition and layout. You can definitely push it further as although the composition is starting get interesting you’re still over relying on the mid shots that cut out those legs.
Also, backgrounds woman! They set the scene and are a character in and of themselves, they deserve as much love and attention as any of your characters. This has the added affect of making your pages look a bit bare as it feels like a lot of white space which hasn’t been utilized properly.
There is some sweet character interaction but you’re still relying too much on telling and not showing. I think if you put some extra thought into your scripts you could cut a lot of words with some slicker images!
Overall keep at it as although this was short it’s a world away from your previous stuff and you’ll only get better!Stekadarr
Stek, girl, you seem to have a problem with finishing comic pages. This is one of the greatest shames of the century as they show so much promise! I’d really like to see a completed comic from you one of these days.
Still, we judge what is there and there is a lot of bare panels here. You wait too long in this exchange to introduce the scene, I mean we get that she’s buying tea but the actual character of the stall isn’t set up until near the end.
The lack of your third combatant is a pretty big blow as well and it does nothing but really hammer home how unfinished the work is. The sketchiness and an awkward shot makes it hard to tell if Katsuko is flirting with Nick or manipulating him.
Although it is bare you can see the start of the story and I’d really like to see you finish it. Keep at it man!WithChocolateOnTop
This comics far and away the best thing I’ve ever seen you put out there. Although like your opponents it’s unfinished, it’s still the most complete of the three up there and although the climax comes upon us quickly, it’s there.
Your backgrounds do need a bit more work, you do actually have them which is great as it really helps to solidify the pages but they come across as a little flat and a little boring here and there. It’s easy to forget that the background isn’t just a scene but a character too.
Similarly you do also over rely on midshots for basic conversation, there are more interesting ways to tackle it and I’d have liked to have seen you push yourself even further here. Despite that, you’re certainly going for more difficult compositions and although you don’t quite get them at times (particularly with down shots) you’re at least braving new ground. Study up on some basic composition theory and you’ll be in a much stronger position in future comics!
Finally, don’t forget to look at that anatomy because a lot of your scenes look stiff. This is partially due to the composition and partially due to positioning of the characters. Work on that and you’ll eliminate the problem pretty quickly.
One final thing is where you use a speech bubble for Katsuko’s brainthoughts, which makes it sound like she said it out loud initially. This is a small moment of confusion for the reader so keep an eye out on these things in the future.
Overall though, you get the win! Go make more things.